Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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