My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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