I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
