Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
