I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize