the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
