you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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