Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
