You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
