I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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