I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
