You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
