Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
birth control should be required to get into college
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
