I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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