dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
