He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
