I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
