Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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