Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
