just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
