If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I deserve this hangover.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
