I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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