so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
