i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
