Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
