You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
