that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
