Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
