bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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