He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
