She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize