in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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