Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
