Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Say something about gay babies.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
