Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
