he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize