When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
