The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Randomize
