I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
