You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
