i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
