I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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