Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
