It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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