This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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