Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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