We're facebook friends in real life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
