Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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