He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
