Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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