Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
