Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
