Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
