During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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