toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
