Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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(631): View more from New York

we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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(478): View more from Georgia

There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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(618): View more from Illinois

she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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(404): View more from Georgia

It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum

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(+49): View more from Germany

Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.

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