I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
