is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
