Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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