I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
