i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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