I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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