Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize