OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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