Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
