a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
PANTIES FOUND
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