I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
