Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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