good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
